Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
