A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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