i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
