If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
