It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
