people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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