So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
