Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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