A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
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