My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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