worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
