Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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