I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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