Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize