What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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