This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
