she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
