You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this just has baby written all over it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
