Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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