I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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