Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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