How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
