he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
