I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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