why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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