I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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