I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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