This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
