You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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