and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize