Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
