the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
