was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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