drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
