1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
