My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
