she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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