she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My feet surprised me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
