I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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