honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
