the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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