In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
