I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize