Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i came on her dog
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
