He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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