Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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