Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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