enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
