Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
