It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
