thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
