either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize