she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
