Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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