Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
