my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Randomize
