Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
