New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
