It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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