Me too!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
