Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
