What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We smell like vodka and hangover
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