We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
