ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
