I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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