he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
