i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Randomize
