so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
