who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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